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This wasn’t the first time she’d been close to Nate. She’d just fallen asleep on his chest the other night, but this was the first time she hadn’t been sober. She didn’t hold herself back from rubbing her nose across his collarbone.
She tilted her head up to put her mouth next to his ear. “You know all the girls want to fuck you now.”
Nate squeezed her hips where his hands held her. “Oh, really?”
“Yep. We were in the restroom, talking about you. You could have your pick of any of my friends.”
Nate chuckled. “What if I don’t want them?”
For some reason, this made Piper grin like crazy. “Then, you’d better let them down easy.”
“I’ll try.”
Piper closed her eyes and let herself enjoy being in Nate’s arms. Maybe she should drink more often. It helped her get out of her head a little and let her relax and appreciate some of life’s simpler things.
The two of them finished their dance, and as the next song started with an upbeat tempo, the rest of their friends came out to join them.
Their group spent almost the whole night on the dance floor, dancing and drinking. When the band finished their set, the DJ took his spot in the booth, and the music continued.
At one point, Piper went to get a refill on her drink, and when she came back, she heard Simone ask Nate, “How would you like to come to my place after this for an after-party?”
Piper’s breath seized as she waited to see what Nate would say. Simone had her back to Piper, which was good because she wanted to hurt her friend even if she had no right. Nate was a single guy who could sleep with anyone he wanted.
Nate, as if sensing she was there, looked at her over Simone’s shoulder and smiled. His blue eyes sparkled. He looked back at Simone. “Thank you for the invitation, but I’m going to have to pass. I’m taking Piper home tonight.”
She knew what Nate meant, but tingles still went up her spine at his words.
Nate reached around Simone and grabbed Piper’s drinkless hand, tugging her toward him. He took the drink out of her hand and gave it to Simone. “Hold this, will you, please?” he asked her and drew Piper further onto the floor.
The DJ started playing Zayn’s “Dusk Till Dawn” with Sia, and Nate dragged Piper’s back toward his front. Her butt was right against his groin, but rather than pulling away, she let Nate wrap his arm around her waist.
Their bodies were in sync as they swayed to the music. Piper looked down at Nate’s tattooed arm and wondered what it would look like against her naked skin. She pictured his hand sliding up her body and cupping her breast. Her pale skin against his beautiful, tawny complexion.
Overcome with desire and fantasies, she dropped her head back against Nate’s chest, wishing the song would never stop playing.
Later that night, after Nate drove Piper home, she went straight to her bedroom. She stripped out of her clothes, and naked, she walked to her nightstand. She picked up her iPod and scrolled through until she found “Dusk Till Dawn,” connected it to her alarm clock, and hit play.
Then, she walked over to her dresser and opened the bottom drawer. She moved her clothes out of the way and reached into the back. When her hand hit silicone, she knew she’d found what she wanted. She wrapped her fingers around the object and pulled it out.
Her purple dual-stimulating vibrator had been sitting in her bottom drawer for over a year, untouched. She closed her dresser drawer and went to her bed and drew back the covers. The sheets were cool against her overheated skin, and she closed her eyes as she spread her legs and brought her toy to her center.
First, she pictured Jordan but soon realized that thinking about him made her sad. So, she switched to a nameless, faceless man as she let the pleasure build in her body. But, soon, the nameless, faceless man turned into Nate. She imagined him over her, holding his body up on his tattooed arm and his chest glistening with sweat as he took her over and over.
When the song reached its crescendo, so did Piper. She cried out into her empty room as the first orgasm since her husband died crashed over her body.
She dropped her vibrator on her bed and waited for the guilt to take over her body, but instead, she curled up into a ball and fell asleep.
Piper kicked off the covers from her bed and used her hand to shield her eyes from the sun streaming through her bedroom windows. She’d forgotten to close the shades last night in her drunken state.
She stumbled to the master bathroom and went pee. If her stupid bladder hadn’t woken her up, she could have still been sleeping.
After washing her hands, she grabbed her robe from the back of the door and slipped it on.
She padded her way to the kitchen, going straight for the glasses and her medicine cupboard. She grabbed three ibuprofen tablets and downed them with a large glass of water.
She definitely couldn’t drink like she had in college anymore.
She opened the fridge to look for something to eat but realized her stomach couldn’t handle anything right now, so she settled for making coffee at the moment.
She heard her phone ringing almost from a distance, and she had to think about where she had put it last night. She paused to listen.
Her purse.
She scrambled to the front door where she had dropped it last night and dug out her phone.
“Hello?”
“Hi, honey.”
“Hi, Mom.”
“You don’t sound so good.”
Piper walked back to the kitchen to finish making her coffee. “Yeah, I went out with my coworkers last night. I think I had a little too much to drink.”
Her mom laughed. “I’m sorry you feel bad, but I am excited that you went out with friends last night.”
Piper had really lucked out in the mom department. She was supportive, but she didn’t smother Piper, and she knew that her mom worried about her.
Back at the end of 2016, Jordan had been laid off at his job where they lived in Nebraska. The company had filed for bankruptcy and closed their doors a month later. With a large number of engineers without work, the market had been flooded, and Jordan had struggled to get another job. Jordan had made more money than Piper, and the two of them had known they had to do something if they didn’t want to file for bankruptcy, too.
Jordan, who had gone to college and graduate school in Iowa before moving back home, had reached out to his old college friends about possible jobs. More than one had come through, but Nate’s job had paid the most, and being in the Minneapolis-St. Paul area would give Piper a lot of opportunities to find work also.
So, with the help of Nate’s good word, Jordan had applied, interviewed, and gotten the job in Minneapolis. Piper and Jordan had moved in January and been lucky enough to find a house about fifteen minutes from Nate’s, so he and Jordan could commute to work together.
Four months later, they had been on their way home when the two of them were in a car accident. Jordan had died before EMS even arrived. Nate had only had to spend a couple of nights in the hospital to be monitored.
At first, she’d been mad that Nate survived, and Jordan hadn’t. Nate was single and childless. Jordan had had a wife, and for a while there, Piper had thought she was pregnant. Piper had gone off birth control after she and Jordan got married, both of them wanting a big family.
Piper had never missed a period or even been late, so after Jordan had died, she’d thought she’d been left with one last present from him.
She’d been so angry that she almost didn’t visit Nate in the hospital, but her mother had convinced her to go.
The second he had seen her in his doorway, he’d broken down in tears. It had been obvious that he felt guilty for surviving when Jordan hadn’t even if Nate hadn’t been driving. To see such a strong alpha male break down in tears had lessened her anger toward him.
Piper had gone to his bed and lain down beside him, and while they’d held each other, they’d crie
d. They hadn’t been a man and a woman sharing a bed. They had been two people who’d lost someone they cared about.
That had been the beginning of their friendship.
Before that, Nate had been Jordan’s friend, but now, he was hers, too. And, when she’d found out stress was the reason she’d missed her period, Nate had been the one to comfort her. She honestly didn’t know what she’d do without him.
Piper’s mom had tried to convince her to move back home, and she had gone to stay with her mom for a week after the funeral, but it held too many memories. She’d lived with her mom her last year of college while she did a forty-hour-a-week internship that paid nothing. That was the same year she’d met Jordan through mutual friends. Her mom’s house felt like a shrine to her relationship with Jordan. Where he’d picked her up on their first date, where he’d kissed her good night the first time, where they’d had sex the first time while her mom was out of town.
She’d been very grateful to go home to Minnesota after that week. She’d only lived in her house with Jordan for a few months. It had way less memories, and she made more money in Minnesota than she had in Nebraska, so she stayed.
“So, did you have a good time?” her mom asked.
“Yeah, actually, I did.”
“Thank heavens. I was afraid you would hole up in your house forever and never meet another man.”
Piper chuckled at her mom’s dramatics. “Mom, it’s only been a little over a year.”
“I know, honey. But you’re still so young. I don’t want to see you miss the opportunity to love again. You need to get back out there.”
Piper raised her eyebrows. “Oh, really? Like you’re one to talk.”
Her father had passed away six years ago, and Piper had yet to see her mother go on a date.
Her mom cleared her throat. “Well, that’s actually one of the reasons I’m calling.”
Piper’s ears perked.
“What are you doing the beginning of August? Can you get off of work?”
Now, Piper was very curious. “Yes, that shouldn’t be a problem. What’s going on?”
Her mother sucked in an audible breath. “I’m getting married.”
“What?” Piper pulled out a chair at her counter and plopped into it.
“It’s true.” Her mother laughed. “I can’t believe it myself.”
“What—when—how?”
“Do you remember our old neighbors, the Gibsons?”
“Yes. Their dog used to poop in our yard, and their son used to drive that old car that would backfire every time he started it. Their daughter was nice though.”
“Yes, that’s them. I ran into Don a couple of months back, and we got to talking. Stella had passed about a year after your father, and we started hanging out, the two of us being widowed and all. And the rest, they say, is history.”
“Wow.”
“Are you mad?” her mom asked hesitantly.
“What? No, Mom. Why would I be mad?”
“Because I know how much you loved your father.”
“Yes, I did, but I love you, too, and I want you to be happy.”
“Oh, good, because I want you to be my matron of honor.”
“Really?” Piper felt tears welling up in her eyes.
“Of course. You’re my daughter, and I love you. There’s no one else I’d rather have stand beside me.”
Piper sniffled. “Thanks, Mom. I will be there. Let me know the final date as soon as you can, and I will put in my request at work.”
“Thanks, baby. Maybe you can come home and visit before then, and then you can get to know Don a little better.”
“I’ll try to do that.”
“Now, no more tears. This is a happy time.”
“How did you know I was crying?”
Her mom laughed. “Piper, I’ve known you your whole life, and I raised you. You can’t hide that stuff from me.”
Piper rolled her eyes. “Okay, Mom.”
“Well, I’d better go. Don is taking me to brunch. Just think about what I said, okay? It’s okay to get back out there. Jordan wouldn’t want you to be single for the rest of your life.”
“You’re the second person who’s said something like that to me this week.”
“Great minds think alike. But I’m serious.”
“I know. I love you.”
“Love you, too. Talk to you soon.”
“Okay.”
“Bye.”
“Bye.”
Piper hung up the phone and grabbed a cup of coffee. She sipped her favorite beverage on the way to her bedroom. When she got in the doorway, she saw a purple object lying on her white comforter, and she blushed.
She’d almost forgotten about coming home last night and pulling out her vibrator. She hadn’t had an orgasm in over a year, and she admitted, it’d felt wonderful.
Maybe this was a sign that she was ready to start dating. She’d always had a healthy libido, sometimes wanting sex more than her past boyfriends, including Jordan. She knew that, if she was masturbating, it would only lead to wanting the real thing.
She didn’t have to marry the first guy she went out with, but maybe she would like him enough to date and sleep with him. She honestly didn’t know if she would ever get married again. Loving someone that much and losing them was like being eviscerated. But there was no harm in liking someone and seeing them occasionally.
Piper quickly downed her coffee, took a shower, put on some sweats, and made a beeline for her computer. She opened up two windows and went to Match.com and eHarmony.com.
As she began answering the questions on the first site, she knew it was going to be a long day. It was a good thing she didn’t have any plans.
The following Wednesday, Nate had just pulled the dinner from the oven when he heard Piper’s garage door open and her car pull in. Two minutes later, she walked through the door and stuck her nose in the air.
“Smells delicious. What did you make?”
Nate always got off work before Piper, so oftentimes, he’d cook for her when it was his turn, and she’d often get takeout when it was her turn.
“Enchiladas.”
“I’m so glad your grandmother taught you how to make those.”
Nate laughed. “Me, too.”
Not only were they delicious, but whenever he made them, he also felt closer to his abuelita.
Piper went to change out of her work clothes while Nate dished up the food and set the table.
Once they were seated, Nate asked her, “So, tell me about your date last night. All you said in your text was that it didn’t go well.”
Piper finished chewing her bite of food and swallowed. “It wasn’t that it was bad; it just wasn’t good. He was very blah.”
“What made you decide to accept in the first place?”
She shrugged. “He asked.”
Nate set his fork on his plate, prongs first, and raised his eyebrows.
“I haven’t dated for years. I figure I might as well get out there and see what it’s like these days. And I also figure the more I weed out the bad ones, the more likely I am to find a good one.”
While a part of Nate was happy that she hadn’t enjoyed her date, he didn’t want her saying yes to every single guy who asked her. “What’s the rush? I mean, you just set up your dating profiles on Sunday, and you had a date on Tuesday.”
“One, if the date didn’t go well, I had the excuse all set up to leave early since I had to get up for work. Two, why wait until the weekend? It’s not like I had anything I had to do last night. And, three, I miss sex,” she said nonchalantly.
Nate coughed as he nearly choked on his food. He picked up his water and took a big gulp. “Excuse me?” he said after setting the glass down.
She looked up from her food and frowned. “I miss sex. When I got home on Saturday, I actually pulled out my vibrator.”
“Holy shit, Piper. You can’t jus
t spring something like that on a guy. Warn me first.”
She laughed. “Why? Because I said the word vibrator?”
“I don’t know. Maybe.”
“Well, we can’t all have a harem of women on our speed dial, waiting for us to call them up for a booty call.”
Nate shifted in his seat. “I don’t have a harem,” he protested.
“Let’s agree to disagree. The point is, I miss sex. I haven’t had sex for over a year. I have never gone that long, and I would like to have it again.”
“This conversation is making me uncomfortable.”
“Because we’re talking about sex?”
He shrugged. “Yes.”
Piper studied his face. “So, tell me this. If you were talking to one of your guy friends—let’s say, Luke—and he lost his wife…”
Nate nodded to show her he was listening.
“So, one night, this friend told you he was gonna start dating again because he missed sex. Would your response be the same?”
“No.” He hated to admit it.
She pointed her fork at him. “In fact, I bet you would have nagged him for months to go and get laid.”
Nate actually thought about what she’d said. If a guy friend were still pining after a girl he’d broken up with, sure, he would tell him to go and get laid. But he didn’t know if he would honestly do that if the guy were a widower.
“I don’t think so.”
“Well, you wouldn’t choke on your food like you did when I said something.”
“Yeah”—he rolled his eyes—“you’re right.”
“And you know why?”
“I have a feeling you’re going to tell me, no matter what I say.”
“It’s because I’m a girl. You’re being stereotypical.”
No, it was because he didn’t want to picture Piper having sex with some random guy. Just the thought of it made him uncomfortable. Not because he couldn’t imagine Piper naked, but because he didn’t want to even think about some guy sticking his dick in his Piper.
But he couldn’t tell her that.